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Archive for July, 2009

If

If I started my own private engineering college,

  • I would call myself the chancellor to the college, and make my children pro-chancellors at the age of 10 in order to get a place in the Limca Book of Records. Don’t blame me, if you want, build your own college and make your 2 year old son a pro-chancellor.
  • I would locate it on either sides of a busy railway track and use bright spotlights so as to attract attention from people passing by. Don’t blame me, the shiney prospectus isn’t doing much good.

Location

  • I would employ the best photographer in town to take pictures that show shining faces in front of huge buildings to promote tourism, oh sorry, to attract students. Don’t blame me, people like to see beautiful looking campus.

Prospectus

  • I would accept donations for building the college, selling engineering seats. Don’t blame me, I’m just taking money from those who have it.

Seat

  • I would sanction 20% reservation for women students to access elevators. Don’t blame me, I’m just helping them grow in the society.

Lift

  • I would employ security guards, provide them with whistles and ask them to shreik when they see people of opposite genders within two feet of each other. Don’t blame me, I do support the abolition of section 377!

Gay parade

  • I would put up vast lawns, water them with semi-treated water (which still contains ammonia in order to spread its wonderful aroma). Don’t blame me, I’m recylcing water.

Recycling

  • I would put up huge walls around the women’s hostels (that even prisons would consider a high-benchmarks), barbed fences over the high walls, and 4-feet deep open-stormdrains right outside so that there’s no escape. Don’t blame me, I’m just concerned about their security.

Hostel security

  • I would issue hostel ID cards in order to keep a tab on how long each one of them are going out. Don’t blame me, I am answerable to parents should their irresponsible 20-year old child goes on vacation.

Hostel ID

  • I would impose a minimum 75% attendance per month criterion for students. Don’t blame me, I can’t bear to watch classes empty.

Attendance

  • I would increase the student intake exponentially every year. Don’t blame me, I’m providing an opportunity for people to study.

Intake

  • I would put up speedbreakers that are so high that even people walking would have to slowdown to jump over. Don’t blame me, safety is of prime importance.

Speed breaker

  • I would change college policies faster than people normally update facebook status message. Don’t blame me, no one else survives in my college beyond 5 years.

Tweet

  • I would waste paper by setting up an elaborate feedback system that could be computer-read, and make every student fill one up without ever taking the feedback into consideration. Don’t blame me, I just want the form to look cool.
  • I would enable wifi access throughout campus, however block over half the sites that are there. Don’t blame me, I’m just making sure everyone uses the internet right.

wifi access

  • I would make students fill several unnecessary forms for the same thing, and update the forms from time-to-time without any notice. And I would employ double the number of people to sit and type the filled in forms in excel-spreadsheets. Don’t blame me, I’m just providing jobs.
  • I would make people write letters for things others might consider trivial. Don’t blame me, I’m just making sure that the paperwork is clean.

Letter

  • I would allow everyone who is a staff to exercise power they don’t have. Don’t blame me, I’m just empowering people.

Hierarchy

Disclaimer: This blog-post is a work of my creativity. Any resemblance it might have to anything in reality is purely co-incidental. Yeah, right!

Picture credits: The elevator picture is derived from realityRN.com, which can be found here. Gay simpson cartoon courtesy Slap Upside the Head. Spongebob picture courtesy Parodies. The attendance shortage image was developed from this image up NCAH’s website. The speedbreaker image was lifted off cartoonstock. Tweets and firefox error page altered with the help of a script from here. All other cartoons, graphs, and smartarts were made using microsoft office, with help from good ‘ol photoshop.

P.S.: Do look through my newly updated blogroll.

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With this post, I begin my series of posts on places, people and practices I’ve bumped into. This post is to do with a little town in Tamil Nadu called Thirukkadaiyur. This town hosts a nice temple dedicated to Lord Shiva adressed as Amritaghateswarar, and the temple carries it’s own history and specialities. Whenever married men turn 60 or 80 in Tamil Nadu, they celebrate their birthday grand with thier kids and grandchildren. And the Shiva temple in Thirukadayur is considered very holy to celebrate their 60th wedding (as it’s termed in Tamil; technically it’s the husband’s 60th birthday, but hey, I really am not keen in probing into that).
Yes, it is quite an achievement to live sixty years now; and more so to have a marriage last till you turn sixty. But yes, when it does happen, the children enjoy hosting their parents’ wedding – and that is a beautiful thing to see.
So moving on to the travel segment, the occasion that dragged me et. my family to the town was my aunt and uncle celebrating thier 60th wedding day, or sashtiyaptha purthi (that’s Sanskrit I think). So we made a nice little road trip along the East cost of India from Chennai through to Pondicherry, followed by a not-so-enjoyable deviation through Cuddalore, Chidambaram, Sirkazhi, Vaitheeswaran Koil to Thirukkadaiyur (you go a little further and you’d reach Karaikkal). The town has the temple and one road leading from the main entrance of the temple to the highway across, containing not one Visa/Mastercard ATM. Yes, it is quite surprising it has electricity. But quite contrasting to the above mentioned features (or should I say feature-lesses), the town has fabulous guest-houses with wonderful air-conditioned rooms (which was quite soothing following the rather tiring drive) and ample parking space (I’m sure cities in India have a thing or two to learn from them).
The following day we prepped up, got dressed and made it to the temple. There was a mad-rush inside, with at least another 10-15 couples celebrating their weddings. It was a nice sight to see: happy faces, each set with their cameramen, their kalasams lined up, and chanting mantras which not everyone understands.
The entire ceremony was two days long, containing pujas, homams and bathing the couple in holy water. So after the function concluded, we drove back to Chennai. For those of you who’re more interested in knowing about the place, history, or how to get there, you can look it up good ‘ol wiki, or this post.

Temple gopuramWith this post, I begin my series of posts on places, people and practices I’ve bumped into. This post is to do with a little town in Tamil Nadu called Thirukkadaiyur. This town hosts a nice temple dedicated to Lord Shiva adressed as Amritaghateswarar here, and the temple carries it’s own history and specialities. Whenever married men turn 60 or 80 in Tamil Nadu, they celebrate their birthday in a big way with thier kids and grandchildren. And the Shiva temple in Thirukkadaiyur is considered very holy to celebrate their arupatham kalyanam (or 60th wedding in Tamil; technically it’s the husband’s 60th birthday, but hey, I really am not keen in probing into that; and kalyanam doesn’t necessarily have to mean wedding, as Sandhya rightly said).

Yes, it is quite an achievement to live sixty years now; and more so to have a marriage last till you turn sixty. But of course, when it does happen, the children enjoy hosting their parents’ wedding – and that is a beautiful thing to see.

Picture in picture feature enabled.

So moving on to the travel segment, the occasion that dragged me and my family to the town was my aunt and uncle celebrating thier 60th wedding day, or sashtiyaptha purthi. So we made a nice little road trip along the East cost of India from Chennai through to Pondicherry, followed by a not-so-enjoyable deviation through Cuddalore, Chidambaram, Sirkazhi, Vaitheeswaran Koil to Thirukkadaiyur (you go a little further and you’d reach Karaikkal). The town has the temple and one road leading from the main entrance of the temple to the highway across, containing not even one Visa/Mastercard ATM. Yes, it is quite surprising it has electricity. But quite contrasting to the above mentioned features (or should I say feature-lesses), the town has fabulous guest-houses (like Hotel Manivizha, where we stayed) with wonderful air-conditioned rooms (which was quite soothing following the rather tiring drive) and ample parking space (I’m sure cities in India have a thing or two to learn from them).

The following day we prepped up, got dressed and made it to the temple. There was a mad-rush inside, with at least another 10-15 couples celebrating their weddings. It was a nice sight to see: happy faces, each set with their cameramen, their kalasams lined up, and chanting mantras which not everyone understands.

Weddings

The entire ceremony was two days long, containing pujas, homams and bathing the couple in holy water (if you’re dumbstruck by the last clause, see image below).

Bathed

So after the function concluded, we drove back to Chennai. For those of you who’re more interested in knowing about the place, history, or how to get there, you can look it up good ‘ol wiki, or this post.

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A new beginning

Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub … dub, lub –––. Beep indicating a flatline. Paddles in hand, positioned, 120V – charge – clear – no pulse, repeat with 160V, charge, clear …

Defribrilation

Miraculously, and with much difficulty, my blog has finally been brought back to life. After a two-month hiatus, involving much travelling, I am penning down this prologue to my upcoming posts. And of course, to let you know that I’m still alive. Cheers!

*Picture courtesy wikipedia.

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